Becoming a mother is a life-altering occasion that changes every facet of a woman’s life. Some changes are expected and you prepare for them as much as possible, while some hits you by surprise and you just have to deal with them as they occur.
Every woman is different, every woman has a different motherhood journey and experience. However, there are some aspects of motherhood that are common to everyone. Here are some of the expected and unexcepted things that change once you become a mom.
The minute you give birth, you automatically become number two, your child takes center stage. You no longer make decisions without contemplating how it would affect your child. Your number one priority is ensuring that they are safe, properly fed, clothed, healthy, happy, and the list goes on.
This was one of the most difficult adjustments for me. If you know me, you know, I LOVE HEELS!!! Before motherhood; I spent most of my time in heels. I love everything about heels, the way it feels, the way it looks when you wear a black suede stiletto with blue jeans and a white tank and how a cute pair of heels can quickly elevate a simple outfit.
Before motherhood I wore 4inch stilettos, now I have been reduced to 3-inch block heel! Yeah, I know ☹… I have become the person I used to judge!
While I understand and happily choose to reduce the height of my heels, it has been hard! It has been especially difficult to watch my babies dry rot because of inactivity. I legit shed a tear when I found one of my favorite pairs shedding!
Your Photo Gallery
Before having my daughter, my photo gallery was filled with selfies, photos with me and my husband, and pics of cute shoes and DIYs I want to try. Since giving birth, my gallery has been consumed with photos of my daughter doing just about everything. Photos of her eating, spitting up, laughing, crying, photos of her poop (yep!), photos of her walking, crawling, rolling over, sitting up, looking at the TV, sleeping, you name it. It got so bad that I was looking for a photo of myself and the most recent one I could find was 9 months old! The good things is that I have all my daughter’s milestones captured for posterity.
Your Romantic Relationship
As I mentioned earlier, once you’ve given birth, your baby becomes number one. Automatically, daddy gets bumped to number two or three, depending on the day! For many couples, the introduction of a baby ruins their relationship. It is hard getting in couple’s-time when you have to wake up at 2 am to breastfeed. In my case, we have to make an extra effort to spend time together. It doesn’t always work, but we keep trying as it gets better as your child gets older.
Your Bank Account Balance
It is often said that children are expensive, and this is no joke, they are expensive as heck! Especially when you live in a country that has high debt, declining GDP, and a dollar that seems to be continuously devaluing. This is especially hard if you like the finer things. I have to make a conscious effort to avoid going on Amazon or Carters. Baby girl’s clothes are so cute, and you will always find something that you think you cannot live without.
Your Internet Search History
My Google searches Before motherhood: “Body-con dresses,” “hotels in Montego Bay,” “black espadrilles,” “work outfits,” “fried rice recipe,” etc.
After motherhood: “Coloring book for toddlers,” “meal ideas for toddlers,” “two-year-old dresses,” “Kinedu,” “sensory toys for toddlers,” “Dave & Ava,” “what does green poop mean,” “milestones for 10month old’s,” “Montessori approach,” “Montessori toys”
…. Need I say more?!
Your Home Décor
I have always been a proponent for clean contemporary design; I don’t enjoy seeing a bunch of stuff around the house and my décor style leaned in that direction. After becoming a mom, that plan fell through the door. My living room area rug was replaced with a kiddy learning mat with toys everywhere. When my daughter first began actively playing with toys, I used to pack them away as soon as she leaves them on the floor. I was doing this 15 times per day. This was not sustainable, so I resorted to packing them away at the end of each day… I kinda made peace with the mess…. at least until she understands the concept of packing her toys away.
Your Television Programs
Horror movies and series have always been my favorite, something about seeing guts being spilled is entertaining to me. Thriller, science fiction, and adventure movies comes in a close second, however since my little one made her appearance, I am watching Dave and Ava and Cocomelon on repeat. I low-key kinda enjoy it though… I found myself randomly humming “I like to eat, eat apples and banana”!
Your Stress Level
Since becoming a mom, I cannot watch the news the same way as before. Everything hits differently. I insert myself and my daughter into scenarios portrayed and the “what ifs” just keeps rolling. I also worry about everything, is she happy, is she adjusting well, does she like me, am I doing this right, what if I fail and she becomes a terrible human being, what if someone hurts her, is she safe when she is not with me…. it never ends… this is the life of a parent, I guess. You will always worry about your child. My mother to this day still worries about me and my siblings.
Your Bathroom Use
When it was just me and my husband, I would spend up to an hour in the bathroom, chilling, surfing the internet, cutting my nails, practicing poses, just random things… Now, when my daughter hears the bathroom door open, she runs towards it. She’s in there with me, looking at everything thing that I am doing, trying to replicate it. She wants to wash her face and brush her teeth the same as me. When she thinks I am taking too long, she beckons me to pick her up and when I send her out; she stands at the door crying…. to avoid this, I have to run in and get things done as quickly as I can, before she notices I am missing… the days of luxuriating in the bathroom are long gone.
However, my life has changed and, however demanding motherhood can be sometimes, I would not change it for anything. My sometimes stubborn, curious, calm daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me.
If you are a new mom trying to navigate your new norm, know that it will get better. Before you know it, you will start enjoying those 2 am feedings. Enjoy your time with your child, they grow up very fast.
Hope you enjoyed! 🙂